I'll drink to that...headlines comp is back

Trebles all round. Press Gazette is bringing back its headline of the month competition thanks to sponsorship from a malt whisky.
My favourite headline so far this year is from the Sun which summed up Barcelona's superior class in the European Cup final against a below par Man United as Catalan v Matalan.
Who could forget the Whitstable Times' famed Whitstable Mum in Custard Shortage? And the extremly rare Private Eye Wins Case! from earlier this year.
My all time favourites include the News of the World's Nudist Welfare Man’s Model Wife Fell for the Chinese Hypnotist From the Co-op Bacon Factory along with the New York Post's Headless Body Found in Topless Bar and, I am not sure where from, the great Man Battered in Fish Shop.